MY TAKE ON MARRIAGE

Marriage, they say, is a beautiful thing; indeed, it is, or so it ought to be. Like I was told and grew up to learn, marriage is the first institution created by God and it paves the way for others. Marriage is a beautiful thing, which brings about companionship, love, affections, and many more that ought to project a standard for the community, but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for most marriages in the 21st century.

As a young boy growing into a fine young man, I've always admired marriage and fantasized about getting married myself. I can remember chilling with my wife and kids and imagining all the good times and affection we would share with one another, but as I grow up and see what marriage really is, I realize I might most likely not want to dive into it if I truly care about my sanity.

The guardian I grew up with for instance don't portray the type of marriage I want. I mean, those guys can hardly go a day without arguing over one thing or another; as a child, I didn't even know who to side with; as an adult,  I reasoned along with the wife; and sometimes I couldn't help but pity the poor man who's coming home from a tiring day at work and the Lagos traffic stress only to have to deal with arguments, nagging, and co. when he finally arrived home.

During my undergraduate days, I can remember staying in the same building with a young couple; the husband was like a youth pastor, and even though they're couples, they are more like words and opposites; there isn't anything I think they've in common, which is why both are actually fun to be with individually. Having both in the same gathering usually ends in argument; though the wife seems good, the husband can't seem to stand the fact that she can't tidy up the house and can't cook a decent meal as well.

I know you might say, "As a woman, you should be able to do those things." Well,  obviously she can't, but I can't seem to blame her, because I believe they've both dated for some years before getting married, and there's no way the guy will say he didn't notice all these lapses. Since he decided to overlook them and dive into marriage with her, I see no reason why he should see it as a big deal now.

The guy also had his lapses; he beat her and also flirted with other women outside. To cut a long story short, the marriage later ended after two sons. The alleged young pastor left his wife to follow another woman, a widow who's about 14 years older than he is. it seems as though he was charmed, but no matter how we try to talk him out of that, he sticks with his decision, and he has been with the new woman from 2015 till date.

All of these things are worrisome; I can't fathom how two people who claim to love each other will end up together and then turn the house into a court room where cases are resolved on a daily basis. To be honest,  I've seen peaceful homes as well, but if I were to compare them with the bad ones I've seen, then I'd say the good are just or near perfect homes I've seen are just about 15 percent.

The impact these have had on me is to be a thorough thinker who thinks and rethinks about any lady I admire before I even approach her or say anything that has to do with marriage. I've built up a strategy of trying as much as possible to be mean, do things that'll get them angry, and see how they behave in their anger. I can't even imagine myself being involved in continuous misunderstanding with my spouse, so it's better I look for someone who has the ability to manage anger and misunderstanding decently.

If, in the long run, I can't find anyone, then I'll rather remain single than jump into marriage out of pressure; that way, I won't have to deal with marriage issues that have pushed loads of men into depression, early death, and suicide, to mention but a few.

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That's about all on my take on marriage and how I've seen it as a single young man. It was written in response to the Hive Learner Community Features prompt, and I hope you enjoy the read.

Thanks for your time, stay bless.