Living Statue: The Silliest Job I Ever Did

There are loads of professions out there one can easily indulge in to earn some pennies, and while some are desirable for all, some are a no-no for many who can't just imagine themselves working in such a sector. Just like everyone else, I've got a particular job I can't imagine myself doing, even though I've worked in that field before. I find it ridiculous, and it'll definitely be the silliest job I ever did if I were to go into it again.

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Although I don't know the name this guy goes by, I'm certain you'll easily identify them after my description. I'm talking about no other profession but those who usually paint their bodies and stand like statues during carnivals and football matches. While growing up, I used to admire these guys and wonder how they are able to compose themselves to stand in the same place for minutes without flinching, but after growing up and indulging in it in my quest for money, I immediately had a change of heart.

While I was writing this, a friend of mine told me those guys are called living statues or street performers, so now you know, but there won't be a need to retract my words above. So as I was saying, I did work in this profession at one time, and I can tell you without a doubt that it's the silliest I ever did. Then I was an undergraduate at the university and needed extra cash aside from what I was getting from my parents.

Then a man who stayed in my neighborhood informed me and my friend about an open gig at his place of work. He worked as a chef at a reputable school in the heart of Lagos Island, simply known as Lekki British School, and they were about to have their inter-house sport and needed people who'd act as living statues or street performers. We quickly jumped on the offer after hearing we'd be paid 5,000 naira each for just a day job.

Left for us to get the materials required for the job, we quickly bought some white fabric and sewn it like a skirt, just like professionals in that field do, after which we needed something to piant our bodies with. We couldn't afford paint as it's too expensive, and someone told us we could also use carbade chalk, which will make us white after mixing it with water and rubbing it on our bodies.

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We set out to the location without figuring it out, and when we got there, it was already late, so we were asked to quickly change into our attire. While in the bathroom and trying to mix the chalk with water, immediately water touched the chalk, and it stated boiling even though it was cold water we used. Without thinking twice, the man rubbed the chalk on us, and it was like inflicting hell on us. We literally had a burning sensation on our skins, but we couldn't disappoint such a big audience after they'd announced the show on live TV.

After applying it all over us and enduring the pain, we ourselves knew we didn't look anything like those professionals in the field, but that's all we've got, so we stepped out into the field. We were welcomed with loud cheers from the audience as we displayed our act, but inside I felt like my skin had been eating up, and then we got some ridiculous compliments from the students.

While some thought we looked cute and even tried to snap with us, others were terrified and couldn't stand looking at us; one even walked up to me and told me I looked horrible. Those comments broke me, but we move on; it's just a privilege to be born into a rich family. There were many such comments that made me dislike the job and see it as a silly one, so I hope you see why I said going back will still make it the silliest job I can ever do.

So in a nutshell, that's the silliest job I can ever do, and I hope you enjoyed the read. It was inspired by the Hive Naija community writing prompt, which can be found here.

Thanks so much for your time, stay bless.