African Parenting: From 'Stay Away from Girls' to 'Where's Your Bride?'

African parents are probably one of the most complicated and hilarious parents you'll come across around the globe, and these traits of theirs cut across different spheres of life for their children. One of the most popular, hilarious, and yet hard-to-understand things about them is their opinion on their child's interaction with the other gender and getting married. I've had to deal with them on this, and I can't help but laugh at their take. They'll tell you not to go near a lady, and fast forward a few years, and they'll be on your neck as to when you'll bring in a bride to bear them grandchildren.     I can remember several years ago, during my high school days, my mom wouldn't fail to scare me off going near a lady; in fact, at that time, she would even lie to get a point across, so I'd obey and abstain from anything that had to do with moving close to a lady. You can imagine her telling me when I was in high school that touching a girl could literally get her pregnant 😂😂, and if I didn't run away from them, if I were to get a girl pregnant, then she'd send me packing from the house to go fend for myself and any girl I impregnated.

_{Thumbnail designed on canva}   That got me scared to the point where I usually tried everything within my capacity not to have any close relationship with a lady that'll get to the point of touching one another, and although along the line I got to know those were meer lies, it has held ground in my heart to the point where I couldn't just help but distancing myself from girls back then, and this even became scary when some girls in my class got pregnant back then, and that's marked the end of their education. Since I don't want this to be my case, I took hold of my mom's scary lies. 😂   But looking back, I can't help but laugh at how I was fooled by my mom into thinking that merely touching a girl would get her pregnant. Childhood was a funny phrase in our lives, where parents tried every means possible to make sure their children obeyed them, even if lying was the only option. Well, that's about that. Now fast forward a few years.     A few years after that, I was at the university, and one day my mom called me, and my girlfriend picked up the call, which led to a few conversations between them. A few hours later, my mom called me back and said that I had a girlfriend, and that was that the reason she sent me to school! She went on to talk about how it'd be a distraction and how I shouldn't think about my girlfriend until I'm done with my education. I was just smiling because I was like, Did this woman think I'm still a child?   I had taken hold of her words in high school, and throughout high school I never approached a lady, nor did I have any girlfriends. Now that I'm in university, when I should be making plans for the future, she's still lecturing me about staying away from ladies. Well, I knew she's just being concerned and mean well, so I'll focus on my education so I'll amount to something good in life, but in my opinion, relationships can't be groomed in a day, and university days seem like a perfect place to start off.

Well, I didn't end my relationship then because of her statement, but then, fast forward several years after graduating from the university, and my mother's opinion has changed about my interactions with ladies; in fact, she can't stop calling me to remind me of the need to come home with a lady.     According to her, I'm not getting younger, and I should bring her a wife. I can't help but laugh at her. Wasn't she the one telling me to stay away from ladies? Why the change of tone now? It's been over 6 years since she's been on this matter. Most African parents care less about whether you're financially okay or not, read for marriage or not; all they'll sing to your ears is that you should get married and that they want to see their grandchildren.   I remember one year after graduating from the university, she asked me to bring a wife home. I was like, I don't even have a job; why will I bring a wife? Will you be feeding us and the children? She was like, God will provide, but don't be slack about it, because things will fall into place as time goes on.   Well, to cut a long story short, we're still on the matter, and even when she called and I told her I'm going to a friend's wedding last Saturday, she used the opportunity to remind me to be fast with my own. I just smiled and said, "Okay, I've heard you, mom," but it's just funny how Africa's parents mouth and request changes within a few times, and I find it hilarious because I might still have to deal with her for more years because I've no plans of getting married anytime soon.      This is what most of us young adults face in the hands of our parents once we reach adulthood, and it's not just the parents who encourage you to dive into marriage, but even friends and elders all around you.

That's about it for now. I hope you enjoyed the read. I know I'm not the only one who undergoes this; even more single guys and ladies will be going through the same, and I'm sure even the married ones will attest to going through the same before they finally get married.   Thanks for your time. Have a wonderful day ahead.